My therapist has often told me before that people are like hands, in that there are two different sides that you can see of them.
During different sessions, she would often have to remind me of this. Even though I felt like I understood what she meant at the time, I really didn’t.
After breaking up with my boyfriend, now I get what she’s talking about.
Immediately after the break up, I oscillated between extremes. I would remind myself of all the reasons that I broke up with him, and said “You’re better off without him”. At other times when I was feeling nostalgic or lonely, I would think of all of his good characteristics and tell myself “You don’t know what you gave up”.
After some time has passed and I’ve had distance from him, I can finally see clearly.
Things do not have to be so black and white. I don’t have to hate him, I don’t need to love him either. I can remember the good memories that we had together, without worrying that I made the wrong decision. I can think about all of the bad things without feeling extreme regret or disappointment in myself.
The truth is, everyone has good and bad characteristics. As time changes, so do we. Sometimes you’re not the person you were when you first started dating. Other times, you may have been intentionally blinding yourself to their faults. Regardless, you have to choose the right path for yourself.
Reader, what’s an experience in which you learned to see both the good and the bad of the matter?