Today when I saw my therapist, I remarked to her, “You know, I never would have started this blog when I was dating my ex.” Oddly enough, until I said this out loud, I never realized how true it was.
Because, as sad as it sounds, when I was dating him, I was afraid to have any opinions. I was so scared of fighting with him. Our arguments were horrid, and I usually tried to smooth things over later. I was a people pleaser. (I’m trying to work on that now, and I think I’m improving ever so slightly).
We argued a lot about religion. He was non-denominational Protestant, and I’m Catholic. Any opinion that didn’t match his was automatically wrong. In his opinion, there’s only one option for truth. I’m open to the idea of people finding truth through several different avenues. There was no use in trying to talk to him about anything.
I think I was also scared of him not approving of my thoughts. That sentence alone shows the dynamics of our relationship. I’ve since realized that I really don’t need anyone’s “approval” to do anything. I’m past the age of even needing my parent’s approval for anything. (Of course, that isn’t to say that I wouldn’t want them to support my decisions).
Since breaking up with him, I’ve realized new found strength and confidence. I’ve tried different things that I never thought I could do before. I’ve allowed myself to grow in ways that I didn’t even consider before.
Sometimes, it’s good to be single.
What about you readers? What kind of positive things have you learned from past break ups?