I try not to be so painfully aware of you, but I don’t think I’m succeeding much. I worry if anyone else ever notices my glances that last just a second too long, or the smiles that touch my lips when there’s nothing funny. Somehow I can’t help it. I just smile because I’m thinking, gosh he’s such a dork. And I mean this in the best way possible. Somehow, you’ve found your way under my skin. And I’m left powerless and defenseless to your charms.
You don’t even realize how cute you are. When I mention you to my sister, we both agree that you’re very handsome. I even notice when you’re wearing a nicer shirt than usual, and when we get to your house I notice when you undo some of the top buttons. My eyes are drawn to it, and I think I made you self conscious.
You chose to change your shirt in the other room. You weren’t facing us, but I heard the swish of fabric and turned around and saw you. I instantly had to turn the other way and pretend like I didn’t notice, like the rest of our friends.
You can’t even go behind a door or something?
I notice all of the little things.
And sometimes I wonder if it’s ever possible for me to make you feel this way. Will I ever make you feel flustered, self-conscious, or overly aware of my actions?
I hope one day we can go to a party and I can just wow you. I know that I clean up nicely. I hope someday I’ll be able to see your jaw drop when I’m all dressed up.
Knowing that you could think of me as a girl, and not just a friend who is a girl, would make me feel very satisfied indeed.
In this kind of situation, I imagine you asking me to dance.
Images of a rosy future play happily in my head. But I have no idea whether this fantasy will become a reality. For now, I’m just your friend. And I’m too scared to make a move, because I don’t want to lose you. If you ever became interested in me, I’d be alright with that. But for now, just have to try and not be so painfully aware of you.
I guess that’s why they call it a “crush”, without you knowing, you’re crushing my heart.