Me: “Morning Mom”.
Her: “Can you be sure to wash dishes? Walk the dog, and drain the plant too.”
Every morning’s the same. I usually wake up later than her, so once I’m finally up she’s been busy for a couple hours.
My therapist always tells me that we can’t change people. So it’s fruitless to wish that my mom would be like a normal human being and greet me “Good morning”. Because, she really just doesn’t do that.
Her list of chores are never really that demanding, but somehow hearing her greet me with a to do list tires me out. Subconsciously, I’ve associated her with doing work, and I tend to stay in my room if at all possible rather than be around her.
I feel so bad saying that, but it’s true.
This morning “chore” ritual makes me feel like I’m nothing but another pair of arms and legs for her.
She doesn’t realize how her actions and words affect me, and if I mention it to her, she becomes offended. She blames me for being too sensitive. She says, “Well what about this or that? I do all of these other things for you!”. We never seem to get to the core of the problem.
We have just never had a good relationship.
It’s frustrating, but it’s how it is. I have to accept that she is that way, and probably will never change. It’s hard for me to not become upset, because I feel like I am limiting my emotions. But in the end, it’s better for me if I don’t let it affect me. It’s something that’s out of my control, something that is unlikely to change, something that doesn’t benefit me to get angry about.
Readers, how do you deal with difficult relationships in your life?