Setting Him Free

Breaking up with my boyfriend was the best thing I could’ve done for the both of us.

After the breakup, a lot of my friends asked me “Are you sure you couldn’t have just worked things out?” And the truth is, no. Things would have never worked out! Because it wasn’t so simple, like disagreeing about what restaurant to eat at. Our arguments were usually centered around our religious beliefs, which we both held near and dear to our hearts. These things were integral to our personal identities, and the truth is you can never win in a fight about religion. There’s no tangible way to prove that one way is more correct than another. All you have are opinions and emotions, and people making assumptions about another person’s culture or tradition.

Also, the more important problem is the fact that you are fighting over which way is “more correct”. Trying to prove your partner wrong never ends well.

Another problem with “working things out” is that it implies “settling”. I understand that compromise is essential to relationships. However, when the relationship is constantly negatively affecting your health or happiness, that is no bueno! Both people in the relationship deserve better than that.

Other than our disagreements with religion, he had “unorthodox” preferences that I just couldn’t accept. I tried, but no matter what I wasn’t able to deal with his tastes. This resulted in me feeling uncomfortable or guilty for not being able to accept his preferences.

All in all, by breaking up with him I have set him free. He is now free to find someone else that suits him better! I cared about him deeply, but I just couldn’t fulfill everything that he needed. And that’s okay, because he also could not fulfill everything that I needed. We tried really hard and loved each other a lot, but sometimes it’s not enough.

That is no matter, however. I’ve loved and lost and learned. The next time around will be better. And so will the next time after that. I know that someday, I will find the right person for me 🙂 Until then, I have to grow and become the right person for him.

This post was inspired by this lovely article. Thank you to An Over-Thinker Secret Romantic for the words of wisdom!

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