As I’m writing this post, I’m listening to this lovely song by Jake Bugg. If you haven’t listened to him, please do. He’s such a great musician! I was wowed by him when I saw him live.
Some people might describe me as a “Type A” personality, a go-getter, a busy bee. And I can’t say that I particularly disagree with them. I live by my phone calendar, and plan out things weeks in advance. Every night, before I go to bed I plan out all of the things I need to do the next day. Today in particular, I had to lay out my clothes for volunteering and an entire separate outfit for church. I always have to make sure I put everything together for the next day, because if I forgot something essential, my whole day would be ruined.
Sometimes it makes me tired, knowing that I always have something planned, that I always have to wake up early. Other times, it rejuvenates me. I feel great about having a schedule, and feeling productive.
And to be completely honest, I’m not sure I could live any other way. Unless I was able to live out in a cabin in the middle of the woods away from everyone. If I had no responsibilities or expectations, I’d probably be able to just live and watch the grass grow.
Why am I this way? I’m not entirely sure. However, I am sure that I sound OCD or crazy to some of you out there. Through my experiences in therapy and personal experiences with others, I’m slowly realizing that most people don’t think like I do. I’m very detail oriented, and I follow plans! If I have free time, I see no reason to not take up that new project or volunteer work. I literally have something planned each day, and sometimes have to break up my days into hourly increments to ensure I achieve everything I want to.
Despite all of this, I’m not a clean freak. My room is hardly ever clean. I’m not a germ-a-phobe either. Sharing food or drinks with people, why not? And I can’t draw straight lines, or care for that matter!
So yeah, hopefully those couple details will assure you of my normalcy.
After discovering that most people think very differently than I do, I’m trying to learn to appreciate my attributes. I can’t do much about my disposition, I react to things the way I do whether I really want to or not. But I can be happy with myself by recognizing that I have achieved a lot! I’m a planner, and truly make time and effort for the things that I want. When I want something to happen, I make it happen.
On the same token, I’m learning that I can only control myself. I can waste time getting angry at others for thinking differently than me, but it won’t do me any good. The truth is, these people can’t control how they think/feel anymore than I can. They’re just wired different!
So yeah, my mind and body are always on overdrive… GO GO GO all the time! But not everyone’s going at the same speed as me. Some people like to take their time, and that’s okay. And it’s okay to slow down once in a while too. You can’t spend your entire journey at 110 mph after all. You gotta slow down and appreciate the pretty scenery too.