Living simply. Being content with what you have. Being in control of your life, and ruling your own “domain”.
Lately it’s dawned on me that the more “in control” you feel, the happier you feel. Often times, people will be unhappy because they feel like someone else is in control of their life, and that they themselves are powerless to stop them.
You hear this all the time. It often comes with the grounds of being a “people-pleaser”. I absolutely have to do this because everyone is depending on me. If I don’t do this, they will be upset and it will be all my fault. I can sacrifice this or that, I just want to keep the peace.
But this is wrong on so many levels.
You never have to do anything. In extreme cases, you can be persuaded to do tasks because you are scared of the consequences (ex: pay rent or risk getting evicted) but that is not the same as having to do something. Let’s face it, you’d be able to survive even without your apartment. You could get a new one, crash with friends, go back to your mom’s house, outfit a snazzy new cardboard box… The options are endless. There is never a point when there is only ONE option for you.
So why is it that we make ourselves believe that there’s only one option? That the world will end if we don’t do these tasks?
Perhaps it gives us a feeling of self-importance. People we’ve been raised as overly responsible people. Perhaps we are trying to compensate for something else lacking in our lives.
I really don’t know. But what I DO know is that we don’t have to be stuck as “people-pleasers” forever.
When you finally convince yourself that you are the only person in control of your life, happiness levels skyrocket. There’s no more stress. No more worry. No more unrealistic expectations or immense pressure. It’s great!
It takes a while to do all this convincing, and even then it’s a struggle, but I am a much happier and relaxed person than I was before. I’m not having panic attacks anymore, I’m gaining weight, and I manage to keep my goals in sight. Learn to indulge in yourself Reader! Oddly enough, when I make little promises to myself and keep them, it makes me feel very happy. I tell myself that I want to continue writing regularly on my blog, and I do! I tell myself that I want to continue playing guitar while I’m in school, and I make time for it! After I get assignments done, I give myself some time to sit around and watch tv. It feels good to be good to yourself.
I really do feel like my therapist has helped me get to this point. She’s a great listener, won’t judge, and always gives me encouraging reminders to stay on the Anxiety-free path. You don’t really know your therapist on a personal level, but it still feels so good to have someone feel proud of you. Mental disorders are not usually a topic of conversation with people, even among family members it can be difficult. So to have someone be there completely open is amazing.
The bottom line is this:
Happiness is attainable. So readers, go out there and take it! Hope your week is going well ❤