Fears

Talking to a friend about relationships suddenly opened a well of fears that I haven’t visited in a long time.

Who am I going to date now?

How/when am I going to meet him?

Will things work out?

Will I be able to find someone with the same morals/religious background?

If he isn’t the same religion as me, will he at least respect my beliefs?

How will I tell him that I want to wait until marriage to have sex?

And so on and so forth. I want to find someone who shares the same morals as me, but I want this person to also be able to respect my beliefs and the beliefs of other groups. I don’t want to deal with someone who is constantly criticizing all religions that are different than his own.

I guess one of the fears that I have is this:

Will I be able to find a man who shares my morals, but is not a bible literalist or religious bigot?

(DISCLAIMER: my ex-boyfriend was like that. I am not claiming that all religious people share these characteristics).

Perhaps my question is silly, and I will have an influx of readers telling me that there are several people like that available in the world. I just haven’t met them yet.

With large amounts of people taking religion too seriously, and countless more not caring at all, I sometimes feel like I am searching for a unique person.

I guess the best way to look at it is to leave it in God’s hands. And to some of my readers who may disagree with that statement, I will attempt to relinquish the need to control everything. From every bad experience, you can learn something from it and grow.

I learned so much from my last relationship.

I learned that I can’t be with someone who feels the need to make everyone fit into his box of ideas.

I learned that there is a fine line between devotion and obsession. There are bigger goals in life than what you want to do or be for this person.

I learned that nothing is permanent, and you can’t plan out the future since it is always changing.

I learned that avoiding conversation about a topic doesn’t make the problems go away.

I learned that there is so much more that I want to do with my life, and that I am capable of doing those things!

Whatever happens next will only teach me more and continue to mold me as a person. I get to continue learning about what characteristics I absolutely love or despise in a partner. I’ll probably undergo various changes as well.

I don’t need to have everything figured out, and I doubt I ever will.

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