Sometimes people mean well, but they give you a bunch of unsolicited advice that isn’t helpful.
In my case, I’ve been talking to a bunch of different friends about my situation with Mr. Swing. I find him attractive, and I’m definitely interested in him, but he has told me upfront that he’s not looking for a relationship.
The latest friend I talked to was the most understanding. She truly listened to all the things I had to say about him, and she suggested that he might have been hurt in past relationships. She thinks that he definitely likes me. She told me to give him time, and to keep doing things as I have been. Just get to know him as a person, and stay clear about my physical boundaries.
On the other hand, one of my friends is Anti-Mr. Swing. She claims that he is just looking to fool around, and he’s not interested in me. In her opinion, I shouldn’t trust him at all.
After talking to my friend who’s Anti-Mr. Swing, I felt really down. I felt insecure and bad about myself. Why would anyone be interested in me? Obviously, he just wants to take advantage of me.
I’m so thankful for my other friend who was being supportive. Of course, it may be because I just don’t want to hear unattractive things being said about the person I like. That is definitely a possibility I wouldn’t want to discount.
When I was talking to her though, I couldn’t help but feel like she was projecting her own experiences and feelings on me. I felt like she didn’t really give him a chance. Or give me the benefit of the doubt either. It says volumes about a person’s perception of you if they think you can easily be used or manipulated by another person.
In the end, I’m deciding to go with my gut. Deep down, I feel like I can trust him. I feel like he’s a good person, and that he does like me. He took the time to really share all these details about himself with me. He really listens and remembers the things I’ve told him before. He always asks when he will see me next. If he just wanted to fool around, why would he waste the energy?
I don’t know what will happen, and I will try my best to avoid having expectations for him. I’ll get to know him more as a person, and let him get to know me.
What’s the alternative? Shutting him out because he might hurt me? That seems like no way to live life.
Readers, how do you sort between advice given to you by your friends? Do you ever take their advice or end up ignoring it?