“Build it, and they will come.”
I’ve often struggled with my insecurities. I’ve felt, as many others have, that I was unworthy of love. I’ve felt unattractive and unwanted. Sometimes I have the worst opinion of myself!
But why do I feel this way? Why do I always tear myself down, when I should be building myself up?
There are several ways that I tear myself down, and through therapy and some self reflection I’ve discovered them. The next step is to modify or change these habits.
One of the ways that I cause these feelings is by having unrealistic expectations of others. When you feel worthless, you believe that love or attention from others is going to instantly validate you. It isn’t. You just feel empty when this person doesn’t give you a 100% devotion. But the thing is, 100% devotion isn’t healthy or even possible. Don’t expect others to adore you when you can’t even love yourself.
Another way I’ve held myself back in the past is by saying “I can’t do this”. Well the truth is, if you’re already saying that, you’ve robbed yourself of the chance to even try it! Of all people to stop you, you shouldn’t let it be yourself.
Similar to having unrealistic expectations of others, you can only expect misfortune when you are too dependent on others for your happiness. Happiness IS a choice, and it is easier to control if it is chosen from within than from your environment. Why is it that people who have lived through tragedy still smile? It’s usually their mindset.
I’ve made a list of goals for myself for the upcoming quarter.
Readers, what are your own goals for self improvement?