You can get so used to being someone else’s “someone” that you aren’t comfortable being your own person anymore.
I hate admitting it, but after the end of a two year relationship, I’m having trouble understanding how to be comfortable being single again!
It might be ironic, but I almost feel like it’s more difficult now than it was closer to the breakup. At that point, I was fueled by fire and passion, determined to make my life better. Now that my life is “better”, I’m at a standstill once again. I have fallen for someone who doesn’t want a committed relationship (he’s probably smart that way).
This guy has been through a similar experience as I have had, but with two different girlfriends. There wasn’t much of a break in between the relationships, so he was basically in a committed relationship for four years. He hasn’t had much experience dating or being single.
So we are both basically in the same boat.
I think deep down, I have this fear that if I don’t get into a relationship soon, I will die alone. Or somehow, my value as a person will go down.
Sounds really ridiculous when you say it that way, but then again our emotions are never really rational.
Why do I want a relationship so bad? Why can’t I just be comfortable being by myself?
I think that I miss the security of being in a relationship. In a relationship, the two of you have an agreement. You aren’t promising to love each other forever (unless you’re getting married). But there is a feeling of semi-permanence in a long term committed relationship. It’s safe. You love this person, and they love you back. No questions asked.
But what does it say about myself if I crave this security so much?
I can be single.
I don’t need a relationship.
I can be my own person.
I don’t need to be someone else’s “someone”.
Readers, how have you dealt with becoming single after the end of a long term relationship?