When dealing with Anxiety, I usually struggle with the conflict of placing my needs, thoughts, and feelings above others. I’ll become stressed out because I feel over responsible for others, and things that are generally out of my control.
Why waste my time and energy on things I can’t change?
There is no getting rid of Anxiety. But there are coping strategies.
What has helped me recently is the epiphany that I am my own person, responsible for only my own thoughts and feelings. I am allowed to think differently than others and voice those opinions. There is no need for me to adapt my thoughts and feelings to better suit someone else. Because when it comes down to it, they just aren’t important enough to sacrifice autonomy for.
If we give up own our unique thoughts and feelings, what do we have?
Specifically, I have been struggling with some family issues. My aunt chose to ignore my very existence for two years, and now wants to make amends. However, she doesn’t believe that she is in the wrong. She has not issued any kind of apology for her behavior over the past two years which included: not talking to me, avoiding my presence, and ignoring my greetings.
Almost everyone in my family believes that I should be the “bigger” person. That I should forgive and forget. Basically I should act like nothing happened!
But the truth is, the past two years did happen. And I just can’t sweep it under a rug and pretend it’s okay.
If she chose to acknowledge her behavior and apologize, things might be different.
But as the situation is, she hasn’t.
I am allowed to feel angry. I am allowed to be upset. I am allowed to act towards her however I may like! The opinion of others should not and cannot govern my own unique thoughts and feelings (no matter how much my family members wish they did).
I can’t change the situation or her previous behavior. But I can be content in knowing that my thoughts, words, and actions are my own. No matter how much my family members press me to act a certain way towards her, I don’t need to.
I am an adult that can make my own decisions. And with my choices I manage to remove myself from Anxiety and the influence of others even just a little bit.
Readers, what are some epiphanies that you have realized when struggling with Anxiety? Please share your stories below.