I woke up this morning with my stomach in turmoil. I didn’t realize until a couple of minutes ago however, that this was caused by my Anxiety.
It kind of hit me like a tidal wave.
There I was, stressed out about Mr. Swing and this weekend, when I realized that all of my indigestion was caused simply because of this nervousness.
What do I do?
What do I say?
What will the atmosphere be like?
He already knows how I feel. And this isn’t a date (although he assumed that I was asking him out).
I’m scared of letting my inner emotions out too much, being vulnerable, or letting him see how hurt I feel. I’m also scared that I’m going to play the tough role too convincingly, and that he won’t even know or care that I’m hurt. It’s quite a paradox.
All in all, if this was a competition I think I’d be losing.
I’ve won in the fact that I stood up for myself, so he knows I won’t just roll over and sleep with him.
But I’ve lost in the respect that I still care about him and secretly would like for a relationship or something more to happen!
After all this time, and realizing that he’s an asshole, I still have feelings for him. How messed up is that?
In other news, after blogging about my feelings, my stomach feels better. Woo hoo!
Wish me luck, I’m not quite sure how this weekend will end.
I hope you are all having a lovely week Readers. Do you have any stories about how Anxiety has manifested itself in physical symptoms? And how did YOU deal with that?