Mixed Feelings

I met up with Mr. Swing today to work on club duties, and things were normal. They were fine. There was ALMOST nothing awkward about it.

And that’s good.

But there’s also a part of me that regrets it.

I’m not sure how to feel about it.

It’s good in the sense that we can coexist without the awkwardness. It’s good that I won’t be stuck in a vicious cycle of flirting and getting hung up on someone who doesn’t want a relationship.

It’s bad because I almost feel like nothing happened between us, and it’s like we were two different people back then. When really, “back then” was only a couple months ago.

It’s a strange feeling. We are almost too polite with each other. We talk about pretty mundane things, stuff that just scratches the surface. We don’t go deep or ask each other personal questions. We talk about the weather, dancing, or music. It’s like nothing happened.

It’s a strange feeling, but I guess it’s for the best. It’s either this or get labeled as his “booty call”.

I don’t know if we will ever talk about this transition, or if it’s better to leave it untouched.

Overall, things are better than I thought they would be though. I didn’t die of embarrassment, no weird questions were asked, he didn’t flirt with me and make me feel like I was special.

(Secretly, part of me wishes that he did flirt with me. Rationally, I know that it’s bad, but the heart is often irrational.)

I guess this is the best way I will be able to move on though.

Readers, do you have any stories about the “one that got away”? Or romances that “almost happened”?

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