The way that you perceive yourself is so important.
If I tell myself that I am ugly, I begin to look more unattractive. I will walk around with poor posture, put little effort into my dress or appearance, avoid others, perhaps even smile less. I will most likely be more anxious or sad, and people pick up on that negative energy and feel uncomfortable.
Let me repeat: the way that you perceive yourself is so important.
I have a friend, let’s call her Jane. Jane is gorgeous, fun, intelligent, and an overall lovely kind person. But Jane does not see herself that way. She sees herself as only “average”, uninteresting, socially awkward, and believes that she has a weight problem. Which is ridiculous, since she and I are probably similar weights, and most people tell me that I’m skinny like a twig.
Because of the way that Jane perceives herself, she closes so many opportunities before they even present themselves to her. She limits the amount or type of guys that can get close to her, and even denies herself certain things because she does not feel “worthy” of them.
I can’t do much for my friend, because she is the only one who can change her perception of herself.
But I do my best to encourage her and keep her mind in perspective.
Recently, she was so overcome with anxiety she was forced to leave the building before I could even see her. She saw someone that she liked there, and she foolishly believes that she must reach a “certain weight” before she can see him. It breaks my heart to see her act this way.
I’m going to encourage her to see a therapist or counselor for some help. I know that therapy has done wonders for me, and sometimes we just need continuous encouragement before we can start believing in ourselves.
Readers, do any of you have friends like this? What did you do in that situation?