Excuse the language.
I had a panic attack today. Because a certain someone wanted to spend time with me when I desperately don’t want him around. There’s been miscommunication and fumbles in the past, and I’d like for us to just be friends. He also wants to be friends, but he’s also very pushy and insensitive.
He complains that I treat him coldly now.
Even though I still talk to him and interact with him on a near daily basis.
Yes, I don’t act as comfortable around him as I used to. But that’s also before the shit hit the fan.
How can I help it if I don’t feel comfortable around him anymore? Especially when he keeps wanting to meet in private to “talk”.
All in all, it was a very distressing day. It was also disappointing to have a panic attack, after I had a clean streak for so long.
But I survived. I was able to calm myself down and continue on with my day. In the evening, everything turned out better.
Just gotta wait it out sometimes. Don’t hold yourself accountable for other people’s feelings. Their feelings are theirs and theirs alone. And there will be times that you will never understand them, and that’s ok.