I’m very self-critical. Some people think it’s a bit much. And sometimes I agree with them, in certain situations I can be so critical of myself that I break.
But it’s also how I learn. I’m kind of an intense person.
I want to know where my mistakes are. So I can fix them and be better next time.
I’m this way about almost everything in my life.
In a certain way, I almost can’t understand people who don’t want to improve and settle for mediocrity. It bugs me.
The way I look at it, I want to be the absolute best I can be. I know perfection is a useless ideal. But at least I’m moving forward and improving upon myself. And I think that shows a good deal of self-discipline and motivation.
But not everyone will see things the way I see them. And I have to learn how to deal with that. Because, honestly, it’s really not my problem whether they want to improve or not.
Right now, I’m in love with Lindy Hop and am always striving to be a better dancer.
Not everyone will share that same amount of passion or intensity. However, my goal is to always encourage new dancers and hopefully instill in them a love for dance.
The other night, I was taking a beginning class as a lead. And it was great! I always look forward to those classes, because it’s exciting to learn new moves and understand the dance from the other person’s point of view.
But unfortunately, a lead ahead of me in rotation was being terribly rude to his follows. He was pointing out all of their mistakes and trying to correct them. Other than being discouraging, it is highly inefficient since you only dance with this person for a couple minutes in rotation. After dancing with him, the follows would come to me feeling insecure about their dancing ability. I did my best to encourage the follows and build them back up, but he did so much damage with his mannerisms.
The best way to give feedback is to compliment someone on what they are doing correctly, and suggest a way that they can make their dancing even better. It’s all in the approach.
When you give someone feedback, the goal is to help improve their dancing, not tear them apart. Practice kindness.