It’s one of those mornings already.
All I can do is point out my weaknesses and failures, I seem to have no good qualities. Obviously this isn’t true. But at the moment, that’s how my mindset feels.
There’s a couple things that have been bogging me down lately. The best way to get it all out is to just list them.
1) My supervisor has been very picky about my work. She doesn’t compliment me on the things I do well, or acknowledge the work I have already done. She just tells me what I do wrong and how I should fix it.
2) Enrolling for classes next term, and I wasn’t able to enroll in the classes that I NEEDED. I am enrolled in enough units to be considered a full time student, and they all count towards something, but they aren’t high priority classes. I feel like a failure.
3) I’m starting to get sick, so I just feel yucky. It also means I can’t sing for crap, which makes me feel worse about myself. Of course, it should be expected that your voice won’t sound good when you have a sore throat, but since when did my heart ever listen to logic?
That’s about it. It’s funny because I wanted to keep going on with the list, but I really couldn’t think of anything else. Reading back on my list is also interesting, because I see the honesty and how I really view myself. I cause all of my suffering when I label myself with negative words like “failure”. I get angry when others don’t recognize my work, but that is out of my control.
What can I do?
I can acknowledge what I do well. Let’s make a list of those, shall we?
1) I swing dance fairly well. I took my first advanced class yesterday, which was really fun. People have been complimenting me on how my following has improved. I’ve also tried leading a little bit, which is interesting and challenging, but also rewarding.
2) I play guitar and sing decently. Ok, if I’m being honest, when I’m really into it I can rock out. I auditioned and made it into a show next week, so I’m excited about performing for that.
3) My supervisor may not always acknowledge my work, but I’m getting it done. I step up while others don’t. It’s all a learning process, but at least I’m getting my foot out there.
Ok, now I’m feeling better. Readers, do you ever do exercises like this? I found this very helpful, I suggest you try it out!