Learning to Live in the Moment

Being a lifelong worry wart, this has always been hard for me. Something amazing may be occurring before my eyes, but it doesn’t take long for my anxious noggin to imagine a dozen catastrophes… Maybe a sharknado will burst through the kitchen window! 

Really though, my over-imaginative brain always envisions dramatic scenes in which life fails in every way possible.

I just came home from a wonderful evening with my boyfriend. After not seeing each other all week, we finally got to spend quality time together. We ate dinner, talked politics and watched my new favorite tv show. Time spent with him is always well spent.

But still, insecurities ambush my mind. I’m getting better at defending myself against this guerrilla warfare, but sometimes the worries find shelter behind a lone tree. And when these worries emerge, they mock me and absorb all of my attention.

I love him and I want him to be “my forever”. But realistically, we both know that it will probably not happen. And knowing that possibility makes me kind of sad.

But why let that ruin a perfectly good evening?

Why get upset over the fact that I may not have forever?

I have right now. I have the present. And the best thing to do is to treasure the time we have together. Whether it is another month, year, or years after that.

Next time, I will catch all of the worries in my brain’s guerrilla warfare. And I will tell them that they cannot bother me anymore.

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