Looking for Refuge

Dealing with anxiety is a never-ending task. There are good days, and there are bad days, and days with degrees all in between.

On the positive end…

I look and smell delicious today. No kidding. Going dancing tonight, and meeting my friend at the pub later, so I look hot.

I made it into a research lab after four rounds of interviews. Needless to say I am ecstatic.

And I went to a swing dancing event last weekend, so I am swungover and inspired to further improve my dancing!

On the not-so-positive end…

My stomach plummets every time I think I see my ex on campus. I haven’t run into him for the past 2 months, so I’m doing pretty good. But I keep seeing people that look like him. Either they have the same shoes, or they walk the same, or they have similar hair. I literally have a mini panic attack every time I think I see him, to find that my brain is just overreacting again.

Also someone very dear to me is having a bipolar episode, and he is currently in a manic state. It’s tiring to worry about him because he doesn’t listen to logic in his current state.

And to top it off, finals are coming. I can tell that my anxiety is acting up, because my heart is racing and I’ve barely accomplished any studying this morning. I’ve been having difficulty concentrating. But I have my list of tasks and I’ve just been crossing off small things as I go. Trying to lower my standards and remember all of the good things that I HAVE accomplished today.

And let’s not forget I look super hot today.

Hope you are all doing well, and handling anxiety in your day-to-day lives as best as you can ❤

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