When you meet someone for the first time, you often judge them and place them into a category: dateable or undateable. Either you are attracted to them or not, it’s really that simple.
But is it? Do we sometimes judge people too quickly? Are there situations where friendships grows into love?
And vice versa: are there people we are physically attracted to, but would never be compatible in a relationship?
My first boyfriend was someone I never thought I would be attracted to. When we first met, he had long hair that went past his shoulders. If you told me that we would end up dating for two years, I would have laughed in your face. I’ve also met guys I’m highly attracted to, but then they say something that contradict my values and it’s a huge turnoff.
Not to say that you can’t have both physical attraction and personality compatibility! But when I’ve looked back on some of my dating experiences, I haven’t actually dated anyone that I thought was unbelievably sexy at first sight. They were cute, and we had similar goals and values, and the physical attraction built up over time. While in the relationship, I would have told you that I was dating the sexiest man alive! But now, no longer consumed by the aura of love, I see that they were good looking but average.
I have a friend who I’ve really gotten to know over the past two years. When we first met, he was attracted to me, but I friend-zoned him instantly because I felt pressured by his interest. Shortly thereafter, he started dating someone else. However, even through his relationship, we remained close friends. I supported him through a lot of struggles and we have always made time for each other.
He is now single.
We’ve never kissed, but there have been moments of physical tension where I questioned our relationship. Most recently, we cuddled in a hammock in a park. I laid my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me. He is very athletic, but I wasn’t aware of his body until that moment. We could’ve laid there for hours, and probably would’ve ended up kissing, but we were also hanging out with one of his other male friends.
His birthday is in a few days, but he is currently traveling out of the country. When he comes back, I’m going to take him out for dinner and drinks and see where it goes.
Readers, what have your dating experiences been like? Have you always been attracted to the people you end up in relationships with? Have you ever had friends that turned into lovers?