What Would You Say?

I confessed my feelings to you today and you seemed surprised. I wonder what you would say if you could see me in your bed right now.

We’ve been friends for a long time. We’ve leaned on each other through breakups and difficult times. When you got in your first car crash, I spent the whole day with you. When you needed a ride from the airport, guess who you would call. Your family goes on a trip and I’m the one who house-sits for you. Even though the house is empty, I’ve been here a thousand times and don’t mind the silence.

I’ve been reflecting lately on all of the stages in our friendship and the events that have led to this moment.

I remember when we first met, I didn’t think of you as a guy at all.

Then you offered to help me with my chemistry homework and sat so close to me that I could smell your cologne. I noticed how big your hands were. I left thinking, “He’s definitely a guy”. You invited me to your friend’s party that night and I freaked out. I didn’t really know you, I didn’t know your friends, and the thought of a party with strangers gave me social anxiety. I declined. I got the feeling that you were interested in me, and it scared the crap out of me.

So naturally, rather than confront you about it, I decided I would try and set you up with a friend of mine. You quickly got the message.

Shortly afterwards, you started dating someone. When I first met her, I was astonished at how pretty she was. She was young, petite, blonde and had big breasts. I was nothing like her at all.

Even through your relationship, we remained close. You even turned to me when you had problems, rather than consulting her. You complained to me about her and your relationship non-stop. You claimed that you would break up with her any day now.

But you stayed with her for a year. You broke up with her just a few months ago, and afterwards you even asked her for a second chance. Luckily, she said no.

And now I’m here in your bed, wearing your t-shirt and thinking of all the memories we’ve had together… and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. I’m so happy that we were friends first. That I’ve gotten to know you and your family and that we can sit together and not have to say a word. I’m blessed to have someone who cares about me so deeply that they’ve remained my friend even when I didn’t show romantic interest in them. Someone who sees me for who I am, in all of my flaws and insecurities, but always believes in me. Someone I can always count on no matter the time or place.

And I can’t wait for you to come back from your trip so I can tell you all of this in person.

I wonder, what would you say?

 

 

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