So long my darling school break, your six days were wonderful. Today I resumed summer classes, and of course, I worried way too much prior to starting them.
This morning wasn’t so great. I felt like a ball of tension, and had to cry a little to let the stress out. It didn’t help that I’ve been feeling sick recently, and that my slumber was disrupted by many water and bathroom breaks spaced intermittently throughout the night. Also, I wasn’t prepared for my first morning class, and was worried about the teacher noticing.
I know, I know I sound like such a wimp. Reading back my words to myself, I think that I sound ridiculous.
But the struggle is real. When I’m caught in an Anxiety riptide, I can’t pull myself out. However, if you’ve ever been caught in a riptide, you know that you have to swim parallel to the shore rather than trying to swim straight in. Logically, it makes no sense. Why are you going to swim in a different direction than your destination? Because that’s the only way that you’re going to make it back home.
So sometimes, the way out is different than what you imagined. Personally, I was able to get out of my funk because I was with my dad. He reminds me that everything is going to be okay, and listens to my worries. He does this thing where he rubs circles on my back, and it always calms me down. After thirty or so minutes of mental preparation, I was ready to go to school. If you had told me when I woke up that I would be able to calm down, I wouldn’t have believed you. Sometimes you just have to ride the waves out and have faith. Storms of uneasiness can’t go on forever.
In the end, my morning class was okay. The TA was more lax since it was the first day. Next time, I’ll have to be more prepared though. I have another class to go, and then I can go home and relax. I took some medication earlier, and not feeling as sick as I did this morning or last night. Everything tends to work out when you let it. Just gotta go with the flow and breathe.
Hope you are all having a wonderful day, know that things will eventually work out for the better 🙂